Mommy Dance - Excerpts

Throughout the play, the character Jill sings, dances and performs as herself, and at times as her children. In addition, there are a number of voice-overs throughout to help provide transitions between scenes. Listed below are some excerpts from the play.

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Excerpt from "Kevin, Master of the House, ruler of all domestic Terror"

Jill (as Kevin, age three)

Hello there! I'm Kevin! I'm three. And although most people believe I'm a small child with limited verbal ability and physical strength - in reality - I'm Kevin - Master of the House - Ruler of all Domestic Terror.

(She stands in a Superman like pose and a fan blows his blankie cape)

My job is to make life hell for the Flatulent Giant. The Flatulent Giant by the way is what we call Mom these days. Giant because she's 7-months pregnant and she is huge. Flatulent - well Dad came up with that one- I'm not sure what it means - but I like the way it sounds: Flatulent Giant. Besides it drives Mom crazy so I call her the Flatulent Giant whenever I can, especially in front of guests.

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Voiceover

I overheard my husband giving some advice to a new father the other day. He said: "First of all make sure your wife breast feeds. Then you don't have to get up for the night time feedings. And no matter what, no matter how hard the baby cries at night, do not, I repeat, do not move."
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Excerpt from "The Tantrum!"

(Start to cry)

I haven't seen an Academy Award nominated movie in three years.

(High Pitch Cry)

OK, it's true. I did feed my son Cheetos and mineral water for breakfast this morning because that's what he wanted. I'm the worst Mom that ever lived.

(On knees, shaking hands and pacing, kneel down and plead!)

Just this once, just this once, couldn't I go to the bathroom by myself? By myself, by myself, by myself…

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Excerpts from the song "LABORTIME"

(during this next verse JILL changes into tap shoes)

Trimester one I felt puky and green
Trimester two life was much more serene
6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9
Watch our people it's Baby time!

(A stage hand comes on stage and tosses JILL a black top hat and white cane)

Oh Mommy!
It's labor time! My water's breaking it's labor time! But…..
Don't bring on the forceps
Don't bring on the drugs
All I need to get through it is a few good hugs

(She begins tapping)

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Excerpt from the song "CRAZY"

I miss the babies in my arms.
Yet love how they are growing.
But look at all we've left behind.
The romance, late night talks,
The time we always said we'd find.

Perhaps this stage of life is done
And I'd be crazy...
To try and stay forever young.
No, no that's just crazy.
It's more than youth, it's more then need.
To have this tiny little seed...

(JILL crosses to the rocking chair, looks at it for a moment and sits and rocks and sings)

Well life is crazy.

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Excerpt from "APPLAUSE"

I think one of the hardest things about being a Mom is the lack of praise you get for the job. You don't have job evaluations at the end of the quarter. No raises, no bonuses. No pats on the back from the boss or fellow workers. You don't get applause for doing the Mommy Dance, not the real Mommy Dance I know so many of you out there do every single day.

Wouldn't it be nice if every once in a while someone walked up to you and said: "Wow! You're a Mom! What a great job! The places you must have been, the things you've seen, the things you've survived! Wow!"

Don't get me wrong. Moms get all sorts of rewards in the hugs and kisses and tears and joys of their kids. There's nothing in the world like having your 2-year old walk up to you and say for the first time, "Mommy, I love you."

But it's the others in your life - Your friends, your peers, your relatives, your husband. You want them to know in some small way that what you're doing is the most important, wonderful and, sometimes, the most difficult thing you've ever done in your life.


		All music, lyrics and dialogue contained herein is the property of the Author and is fully protected by copyright.
		Throughout the play, the character Jill sings, dances and performs as herself, and at times as her children. In addition, there are a number of voice-overs throughout to help provide transitions between scenes. Listed below are some excerpts from the play. ___________________________________________________________ Excerpt from "Kevin, Master of the House, ruler of all domestic Terror" Jill (as Kevin, age three) Hello there! I'm Kevin! I'm three. And although most people believe I'm a small child with limited verbal ability and physical strength - in reality - I'm Kevin - Master of the House - Ruler of all Domestic Terror. (She stands in a Superman like pose and a fan blows his blankie cape) My job is to make life hell for the Flatulent Giant. The Flatulent Giant by the way is what we call Mom these days. Giant because she's 7-months pregnant and she is huge. Flatulent - well Dad came up with that one- I'm not sure what it means - but I like the way it sounds: Flatulent Giant. Besides it drives Mom crazy so I call her the Flatulent Giant whenever I can, especially in front of guests. ___________________________________________________________ Voiceover I overheard my husband giving some advice to a new father the other day. He said: "First of all make sure your wife breast feeds. Then you don't have to get up for the night time feedings. And no matter what, no matter how hard the baby cries at night, do not, I repeat, do not move." ___________________________________________________________ Excerpt from "The Tantrum!" (Start to cry) I haven't seen an Academy Award nominated movie in three years. (High Pitch Cry) OK, it's true. I did feed my son Cheetos and mineral water for breakfast this morning because that's what he wanted. I'm the worst Mom that ever lived. (On knees, shaking hands and pacing, kneel down and plead!) Just this once, just this once, couldn't I go to the bathroom by myself? By myself, by myself, by myself… ___________________________________________________________ Excerpts from the song "LABORTIME" (during this next verse JILL changes into tap shoes) Trimester one I felt puky and green Trimester two life was much more serene 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 9 Watch our people it's Baby time! (A stage hand comes on stage and tosses JILL a black top hat and white cane) Oh Mommy! It's labor time! My water's breaking it's labor time! But….. Don't bring on the forceps Don't bring on the drugs All I need to get through it is a few good hugs (She begins tapping) ________________________________________________________________ Excerpt from the song "CRAZY" I miss the babies in my arms. Yet love how they are growing. But look at all we've left behind. The romance, late night talks, The time we always said we'd find. Perhaps this stage of life is done And I'd be crazy... To try and stay forever young. No, no that's just crazy. It's more than youth, it's more then need. To have this tiny little seed... (JILL crosses to the rocking chair, looks at it for a moment and sits and rocks and sings) Well life is crazy. ________________________________________________________________ Excerpt from "APPLAUSE" I think one of the hardest things about being a Mom is the lack of praise you get for the job. You don't have job evaluations at the end of the quarter. No raises, no bonuses. No pats on the back from the boss or fellow workers. You don't get applause for doing the Mommy Dance, not the real Mommy Dance I know so many of you out there do every single day. Wouldn't it be nice if every once in a while someone walked up to you and said: "Wow! You're a Mom! What a great job! The places you must have been, the things you've seen, the things you've survived! Wow!" Don't get me wrong. Moms get all sorts of rewards in the hugs and kisses and tears and joys of their kids. There's nothing in the world like having your 2-year old walk up to you and say for the first time, "Mommy, I love you." But it's the others in your life - Your friends, your peers, your relatives, your husband. You want them to know in some small way that what you're doing is the most important, wonderful and, sometimes, the most difficult thing you've ever done in your life.